I've had enough...

Of this cycle that is. I am on CD 61 and have had enough. I bought a pg test tonight which I plan on taking in the next few days. I am really hesitant to do this because of my CP in January... I just don't want to go through that again. If the test is negative, I will probably start Provera by the end of the week to rid myself of this cycle and start fresh.

While we are still TTA, I am going back to charting as soon as AF shows her face... I wish I could take as many vacations as she does! I want to try to get an idea about what's going on in this crazy body of mine so maybe we can get a better idea of where to start when we start TTC.

I failed... I've had 3 cigarettes today. I'm down though - 6 yesterday! I'm trying; it's just harder than I thought it would be... I thought I was stronger than this!

I did get some Girl Scout cookies tonight though! O how I love me some Thin Mints!

Time will tell...

So as some of you may know, Curtis and I have been having some problems. We have been fighting and arguing like crazy and I have just felt like we were falling apart.... I knew a lot of it had to do with stress but we have always been so good about not turning on each other when things got rough.

So... after he snapped at me this morning and I got my feelings hurt, I started doing some thinking and decided it was time to talk. We had a long talk about the way we were both feeling and worked our way through it. I really do love him more than anything and hate when we get in these dry spells.

In other news: I have smoked my last cigarette today. I have been wanting to quit for a while now... just never had enough motivation I guess. Well, after I did the math and realized how much money we were spening on my bad habit, I decided it was time to quit. I also have been using it as an excuse to not get back in shape because I don't feel healthy when I'm smoking. I want to be healthy for myself and our phantom baby when we start TTC again. I am aware of all the health risks associated with smoking, including fertility issues and don't want to hinder our chances any further and indanger my health and more than I already have.

Time will tell and I pray for the best!

Craziness

These last few days have been insane and borderline nightmare!

After working all weekend, my sister spent the night with us Sunday night and Curtis and I got in a huge fight... over NOTHING! He decided to "be one of the guys" and go play basketball with some friends knowing his knee has been giving him issues. Well, needless to say, he spent all night Sunday (and most of the day Monday) in pain. He thought, Sunday night, that being in pain gave him an excuse to be a jerk and I had to stand my ground and make him realize that this is not the way it works. So, after taking my sister to school Monday morning, we talked and he apologized and was very sweet the rest of the day... and I took care of him and his knee because I'm just a good wife like that lol.

School is going well... just stressful this week! I have a paper due Thursday, a test Thursday and another test Saturday so I guess I will be pretty busy this week!

Our stress level is skyrocketing with all this job and school drama... oh the joys of married life! Ok whine fest over now...

MMMMM I love having a husband that can cook!!!

So my honey cooked dinner tonight and made the most amazing chicken! It was so good but we are going to have to try it again with thinner chicken breasts. So here is the recipe in case you are interested:

4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
4 ounces Dijon mustard
1/4 cup teriyaki sauce
1/4 cup bacon bits
1/2 cup grated Parmesean cheese

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C)
2. Put chicken in 9x13 inch baking dish. Slather mustard evenly over chicken then pour teriyaki sauce evenly over chicken. Sprinkle with bacon bits, then cover with cheese
3. Bake at 400 degrees F for 30 minutes.

I recommend using thin chicken breasts... ours were too thick.

I love my honey!

This can't be a good sign...

I'm thinking there may be a layoff in our future... Curtis only has one day at work next week. They have been gradually cutting hours but one day? So I guess we know what Curtis will be doing this week... looking for a new job.

With that being said, we won't be going back to TTC anytime soon. I am, however, going back to charting. I am currently on CD 55 and am trying to hold out until CD 60 to call the doctor and get another prescription for Provera. My doctor will do it as soon as CD 40 but I don't want to take any chances. As soon as CD 1 comes, I will be breaking out my trusty BBT.

I am also changing my diet and going to start working out again... and try to stick with it this time. It's time for these extra 30 pounds to take a hike.

TTA SUCKS!!!

Ok so I have officially decided that TTA sucks. I effing hate it! I don't know what to do thought because Curtis wants to leave TTC on hold like originally planned (even though our other plans have changed a little). I understand his reasoning but it's driving me insane! I really think I might go back to charting just so I can figure out what's going on with my cycles and see if we can get somewhere. I want to have a baby so bad... this is going to make me insane I swear!

I will keep everyone updated on how it's going.

Texas School of Business... and other stuff

Well I had my "interview" today at Texas School of Business. Everything was great! I can't start until May (and will finish in February 2010). I was hoping to be able to start right away (and finish in December) but I can't because of financial aid. You can only receive aid at one school at a time and I am already receiving aid at HCC so I have to wait until the semester ends in May.

The in class time is roughly 7 months. It is one class at a time and the classes last about 4 weeks for a total of 7 classes. Once I finish all 7 classes, I move on to an unpaid externship. If I can manage 40 hours of the externship a week, I will finish in about a month. But because it is unpaid, I will still have to work so if it becomes too much to do all at once, I can do 20 hours a week of the externship and finish it in about 2 months. It's only for a month, so I am hoping I can just suck it up and get it done so I can get hired on and start making some money! The class sizes are very small (10-15 students) so I am excited about that! AND Curtis already said I could practice drawing blood on him! LOL

In other news, I got a 94 on my A&P test that I studied so hard for! Also, our best friends in Arkansas finally got internet so I can talk to my best friend more now and get pictures of my nephews!!! Overall, it has been a pretty good day in the Poulnott house!