One lonely line

That's what I saw this morning when I tested at 10dpo. I knew better... I knew it would be too early but I did it anyway (partially because of the huge temp jump I had this morning). I am just so hopeful this cycle but that one little line kinda crushed those hopes. I said I wouldn't be upset if I got a BFN this morning because it's so early but I still was.

So now I will be smart and wait til 12 or 13 dpo to test again. Curtis was so sweet when I told him it was a BFN. He said "Well honey, you knew it was too early and that this was a possibility. What if you never get a + on an HPT? Just wait a few days and try again... AF isn't here yet... it's not over" I love my husband!

Friday is our appointment to discuss the "results" of this cycle with Dr. S. If I still haven't gotten AF or a BFP, I will request a blood test just to be sure.

And here is a pic of my chart as of today...

Cycle #....

Hell I lost count a long time ago. I don't know what cycle we are on... #1 (technically, 2) with Clomid and #5 charting. Anyway, I just realized I didn't update after my last "ending this cycle" post.

About a week after that post, AF showed (on her own!) after I had picked up my Prometrium (so that was a nice waste of $25... lol). So anywho, last Friday I went in for my CD2 ultrasound and they said everything looked good and I was to start Clomid the next day (Saturday). So I did... 100mg of Clomid for 5 days. Well that's done.

So now we wait (and have lots of sex... lol) I will start OPKs this weekend and do them probably twice a day until my next appointment (which is a week from today) to see if the Clomid is working. Then we decide if we should move forward with the Ovidrel or not.

There isn't much else going on... still BUSY with school and trying to find work (I'm a substitute teacher). I am working a 1/2 day tomorrow... hopefully more next week! We are still working on getting everything in order with the move, which is approaching more quickly than we realized!

And so it begins...

I have decided to give up on this cycle. I sucked at charting and have no idea what's going on. All I know is it's CD34 and I'm ready to move along. So... I filled my script for Prometrium today and I'll test in the AM. If it's a BFN (like I'm sure it will be), I'll pick up my Prometrium and get started with that. Once AF shows, I'll go in for an u/s and start Clomid.

Dr. S is amazing and wants to monitor me VERY closely while I'm on Clomid and there is a chance I will have an Ovidrel injection if things don't progress enough on their own. I'm feeling pretty optimistic and really hoping it only takes one cycle. We only have time to do 2 before the move...

In other news: I had my first sub assignment yesterday at my high school. It was soooo weird to be back in that place on the other side of things. I had 11th and 12th grade English and the kids were absolutely amazing!

I think it's time...

For an update! Sorry I've been a blog slacker!

Ok so let's start with TTC: After much discussion about our financial situation, we have decided to put treatments on hold for a little while. I will continue with Metformin and keep charting... basically natural TTC for now. According to FF, I am 9DPO so I will be most likely be testing Wednesday, at 12DPO. My chart is looking better than it ever has before and my phantom symptoms are creeping up but I'm really trying not to read too much into it. I'm really tired of the heartbreak! So we will see what happens...

School

Me - Class #2 (of 7) if finished! I ended up with a 98 for that class so I'm pretty proud of myself and my 4.0 GPA! Class #3 started Thursday and it seems like it is going to be REALLY boring.
Curtis - He is still doing really well... working on finishing up his 3rd quarter. It's looking like he will have highest honors again so FX'd! The Dean also approached him last week about joining the National Technical Honor Society! I am soooo proud of him!

Life

There isn't much else going on around here... I have been job hunting like crazy but no one wants to hire me in my field because I'm still a student. About half the places I've talked to say "Come see me when you're out of school." gee thanks. But if all else fails, I have a meeting with the school district on Sept. 11th to be a sub for the semester, til I finish school. I have also been slacking on my weight loss so I've really got to get back on it this week. I've been thinking about checking out the 30DS.

Ok well that's really all I've got for now. Wow our life is pretty boring, huh? I promise, I will *try* to be a better blogger...

A long road...

Well we met with our RE this morning... she's great! I really think I'm going to like her... she was very upfront about everything and seems to know what she's talking about. The office is huge... once you get past the waiting area, it's like a giant maze! We sat in her office for about 25 minutes and talked about our history and all that fun stuff. Then she said "Well, I'm thinking PCOS but we are going to do an ultrasound and see what's going on"

The Diagnosis:
We went to the u/s room where she informed me we would be doing a vaginal u/s and I needed to strip from the waistdown and empty my bladder. The u/s wasn't bad... a little uncomfortable while she was trying to find what she was looking for. After she took the measurements she needed, she turned the screen around to show me my ovaries. I looked at the screen and she said "See, there are your ovaries. See those black spots? Those are cysts... what I'm looking at now is textbook PCOS." By the way, Curtis was in the room for all of this... he saw it all before I did.

The Treatment:
The plan is for me to end this cycle with Prometrium and start testing. I will have CD3 bloodwork done and an HSG shortly thereafter. Curtis is also going to have an S/A (semen analysis) done during the time I'm having my testing done (which he is THRILLED about lol). I was also instructed to make drastic changes to my diet to help the PCOS. Once the tests are all done, I will go back for another appointment with the doctor to go over the results and we will go from there. She said we will probably try Clomid again (with monitoring) and Metformin.

I was pretty much expecting PCOS... I have all the symptoms. But, hearing her say the words kinda felt like a slap in the face. I know it's treatable and we can still conceive and I'm glad we have a diagnosis but it doesn't make it any easier. I am happy to have a plan but I feel like this will be a long road to success.

Wow... it's almost time!

And I have soooo many emotions running through me. The "time" I am referring to, as many of you know, is time for my trip to the RE. Only 2 full days stand between me and my quest for answers on this TTC journey. I am anxious and nervous and scared and just overall, optimisitc. After 2 long years of trying to become a mommy, I'm ready to find out what the hold up is and how to best proceed down this path. I love my husband more than I could ever explain and I'm ready to add to our family and I see the look in his eyes that says he is ready to be a daddy again. I've never been so sure about anything in my life as I am about wanting to be a mom.

Well enough about that... School is going really well. I am proud of myself and feel like this is finally where I belong. I can't believe my first class is almost over... only one more full week then it's on to the next class! I don't expect these next 6 months to be easy but it will be sooooo worth it in the end.

I hope everyone has had an amazing Independence Day! We had a pretty good night. Curtis had to work until 6, then we went to my parents for dinner and to watch fireworks. I will update sometime Tuesday (hopefully before school) as to the status of my doctor appoitment!

Fresh start

After a 21 day LP and a 61 day cycle, AF came on her own yesterday. No medication needed!!! This is the first time in a year and a half I haven't had to take Provera to induce AF! I would have much rather had a BFP but this is good too... So I will continue to take Vitex and will be trying Evening Primrose Oil and probably Pre-Seed this cycle, along with a possible BD marathon. I haven't decided completely yet though... I may just stick with the Vitex and see what the doctor has to say next month.

I had orientation for school last night and will be starting class Monday evening. My graduation date is March 16, 2010 WOOHOO! I am excited, nervous and anxious all at the same time mainly because I don't know what to expect from this program.

Curtis is doing well with balancing school and work... he ended up with all A's again last quarter! I am so proud of him!! He loves his job, which is a huge plus... T-Mobile has been a great company to work for thus far and they really seem to take care of their employees!

Everything is going pretty well here... our fingers are crossed for a March/April baby!

Emotional Rollercoaster

I'm a mess! For the last week, I have been an emotional mess... I go from being perfectly happy to pissed off to upset and back to pissed off in about 5 minutes. I don't know what's going on but it's really exhausting! Poor Curtis... he is trying so hard to be patient with me but I know this is wearing on him quickly. I feel so bad but I don't know what to do. =(

I tested Thursday morning - BFN but FF moved my CHs so now I'm only 9DPO instead of 14 so we will see what happens. If my temps stay up, I plan to test again probably Tuesday (12DPO). Tuesday is also my late Papaw's birthday... maybe I can give him a happy birthday present... or he will give me one (depending on how you look at it). I know he is watching out for me... I miss him sooooo very much! Ok not sure I got on that tangent but back to reality. I have been having quite a few symptoms but who knows... my body may just be playing tricks on me. If that's the case, it can stop anytime now!

Freaking out a little...

Ok so as you know I have started the Provera for the 465456th time and am having some new side effects... at least that's what I think it is. I have had INSANELY dry skin.. so bad it was keeping me up at night. My whole body itched.. I felt like a dog with fleas! It has subsided for the most part... I'm still getting random bouts of itchiness though. And then today came the nausea and it was BAD at first. I was in the shower went it hit and dry heaved but for like 5 minutes after gagging (sorry if TMI). After that, it subsided a little but have still have random bouts throughout the day. I have also had a headache for the last 2 days but I think most of it is from work!

The only side effect I have ever gotten on Provera was PMS-like symptoms (since it is used to trigger AF, that made sense). After our CP in January, I was really hesitant to start this round and these new symptoms are freaking me out a little. I took 3 HPT's before I started it and all BFN so that relaxed my nerves a little since I was on CD 65+... that's like senior citizen! LOL

Anyway.. I just wish AF would show up so I could stop obsessing!