I can't even think of a title...

That's how bored I am tonight. I've gotten too used to being in school but I didn't have class tonight (and may not tomorrow either). It's a nice little break but I'm not used to being home all day and all night... this is weird.

Anyway, moving on. There isn't much going on these days... we finished all our testing and are just waiting on our follow-up. We go in Monday, Aug 3rd to get all our results and figure out where we are headed next in our journey. I finally quit smoking completely and have been averaging about 2-3 caffeinated drinks a week. I don't really crave sweet tea anymore... I want water more and more but my weight loss is kinda slacking. I got rid of the smoking so now I will focus more on my diet and loosing the weight.

I am anxious for the next step.

2 in a row

Holy crap... 2 months in a row AF has shown on her own! And only at 34 days this time... yup that's right. I had a 34 day cycle with NO meds! I just can't believe it. Except the hag HAD to show when I was at the movies with nothing! So anyway... I began testing this cycle as planned. I had my CD3 fasting bloodwork today. Let me just put emphasis on the word FASTING... I am not a nice woman when I can't have anything to drink when I wake up, not to mention the fact that B/W on an empty stomach is not fun. I stood up and the room started spinning. But the nurse that did it was really good. She stuck me with a big needle first and the vein wasn't cooperating so she switched to a butterfly and got all 6 viles pretty quickly. Anyway, I will have my HSG Wednesday morning at 9:30 and I am extremely nervous about it! I have to be there at 8:30 to check in then my RE will perform the HSG about 9:30. Curtis is also making his deposit next week... he's not happy about it but he will live.

I did pretty well with my diet... I didn't stick to it 100% but I did well. In fact, I'm down 7 pounds since my RE appt on the 7th.

As for school... I finished my first class Monday and started #2 on Wednesday. 1 down, 6 to go. I currently have a 4.0 (made a 100 in the 1st class) and perfect attendance! YAY GO ME!

Time for a new me...

God willing, I smoked my last cigarette tonight. I've said this before and always cave and buy more but I did really well today (and all week for that matter). I need to be done... I've been saying this forever but all I can think about is how much money I'm blowing and the damage I'm doing to my body and our unborn children. It's time. I can do this and I will!

But that's not the only change I'm making. I am starting the South Beach Diet tomorrow morning... it sounds like it will be a difficult transition but something has to be done. I have about 30 pounds that I want to lose... and losing some weight will really help with the PCOS, thus only helping our chances of conception.

As of right now, all these major changes to my lifestyle seem impossible but I know they are not. It just takes some self control and motivation... 2 things I seem to have lost. As I said before, I CAN AND I WILL!

I'll keep you updated...

A long road...

Well we met with our RE this morning... she's great! I really think I'm going to like her... she was very upfront about everything and seems to know what she's talking about. The office is huge... once you get past the waiting area, it's like a giant maze! We sat in her office for about 25 minutes and talked about our history and all that fun stuff. Then she said "Well, I'm thinking PCOS but we are going to do an ultrasound and see what's going on"

The Diagnosis:
We went to the u/s room where she informed me we would be doing a vaginal u/s and I needed to strip from the waistdown and empty my bladder. The u/s wasn't bad... a little uncomfortable while she was trying to find what she was looking for. After she took the measurements she needed, she turned the screen around to show me my ovaries. I looked at the screen and she said "See, there are your ovaries. See those black spots? Those are cysts... what I'm looking at now is textbook PCOS." By the way, Curtis was in the room for all of this... he saw it all before I did.

The Treatment:
The plan is for me to end this cycle with Prometrium and start testing. I will have CD3 bloodwork done and an HSG shortly thereafter. Curtis is also going to have an S/A (semen analysis) done during the time I'm having my testing done (which he is THRILLED about lol). I was also instructed to make drastic changes to my diet to help the PCOS. Once the tests are all done, I will go back for another appointment with the doctor to go over the results and we will go from there. She said we will probably try Clomid again (with monitoring) and Metformin.

I was pretty much expecting PCOS... I have all the symptoms. But, hearing her say the words kinda felt like a slap in the face. I know it's treatable and we can still conceive and I'm glad we have a diagnosis but it doesn't make it any easier. I am happy to have a plan but I feel like this will be a long road to success.

Covered in ash...

That's the best way to describe my family when they got to my house yesterday afternoon. Yesterday started out like any normal Sunday... Curtis was at work and I was cleaning house... until I got a text from my younger sister. She wanted to come over (as usual) and when I told her she had to wait til I was done cleaning, her reply was "Well ok but our house is on fire" WHHHAAATTTT????!!

I began frantically trying to call my parents, who of course weren't answering because they are trying to put their house out. I finally got a hold of them and my dad confirmed that, yes, the house had caught on fire and my mom was bringing my 2 younger sisters, my little brother, and their dog to my house for the time being.

Apparently, the fire was caused by the grill falling over. We think when it fell over, the coals smoldered under the deck until they just couldn't take it anymore and went up in flames (they were still hot from grilling on the 4th). Yesterday afternoon my family was all sitting at home when they heard a loud bang that sounded like breaking glass. My dad went to check on my youngest brother and see if one of the other kids had knocked a picture of the wall. As he made his way back down the hallway, the hall smoke alarm went off. My dad opened his bedroom door and was smoke just came pouring out. He shut the door and ran around back while yelling at my mom that there was a fire. Dad started trying to put the fire out while mom got the kids out of the house and called 911. The breaking glass sound he heard was his bedroom window busting out from the fire. The fire department came and were able to put the fire out and kept it pretty well under control, but the fire was already making its way to the attic, which means in another 5 minutes, their house would've burned down. It did, however, burn all the electrical wires to the outside wall (the fire started right by the electrical box) so their gas and electric have been shut off until they get an electrician assess the damage and most likely rewire the house to prevent any accidents.

Because of the electrical stuff, the house is not liveable so they are staying with me for now. Well, everyone except my sisters and the dog, who are with other family.... my one bedroom apartment just is not big enough for the 6 of them AND their dog! lol. I love my family and I am very thankful everyone is ok. The scary reality is that had the fire happened an hour earlier or an hour later, I could've lost my parents yesterday. Everyone is ok... just a little shaken up. Hayden (the youngest) is probably the most freaked out... he keeps asking if the fire is out and was afraid my apartment was going to catch on fire last night.

Here are a few pictures of the damage... I could only take pics outside because I couldn't see inside since there was no power and it was almost dark outside.

This was the deck. The open window is my parents room

More of the deck and my parents room

This table used to sit on the deck under my parent's window.

Burned part of the deck

Wow... it's almost time!

And I have soooo many emotions running through me. The "time" I am referring to, as many of you know, is time for my trip to the RE. Only 2 full days stand between me and my quest for answers on this TTC journey. I am anxious and nervous and scared and just overall, optimisitc. After 2 long years of trying to become a mommy, I'm ready to find out what the hold up is and how to best proceed down this path. I love my husband more than I could ever explain and I'm ready to add to our family and I see the look in his eyes that says he is ready to be a daddy again. I've never been so sure about anything in my life as I am about wanting to be a mom.

Well enough about that... School is going really well. I am proud of myself and feel like this is finally where I belong. I can't believe my first class is almost over... only one more full week then it's on to the next class! I don't expect these next 6 months to be easy but it will be sooooo worth it in the end.

I hope everyone has had an amazing Independence Day! We had a pretty good night. Curtis had to work until 6, then we went to my parents for dinner and to watch fireworks. I will update sometime Tuesday (hopefully before school) as to the status of my doctor appoitment!