Friday, September 25, 2009

And so it begins...

I have decided to give up on this cycle. I sucked at charting and have no idea what's going on. All I know is it's CD34 and I'm ready to move along. So... I filled my script for Prometrium today and I'll test in the AM. If it's a BFN (like I'm sure it will be), I'll pick up my Prometrium and get started with that. Once AF shows, I'll go in for an u/s and start Clomid.

Dr. S is amazing and wants to monitor me VERY closely while I'm on Clomid and there is a chance I will have an Ovidrel injection if things don't progress enough on their own. I'm feeling pretty optimistic and really hoping it only takes one cycle. We only have time to do 2 before the move...

In other news: I had my first sub assignment yesterday at my high school. It was soooo weird to be back in that place on the other side of things. I had 11th and 12th grade English and the kids were absolutely amazing!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

An amazing trip!

It has been such a long few days but totally worth it! We went to Arkansas this weekend and had a blast! Neither of us realized really how much we missed our friends and family... we didn't want to leave at all. It was long and exhausting but I'm so glad we made the trip!

We got to see some amazing friends and got to see Clay for his birthday! We really can't wait to move back... only 3 months (well 4 for me) and we have a lot to do in these 3 months. We finally decided to start treatments and get at least 2 cycles in before the move. I'm trying to wait a few more days to test and if I get a BFN, we will start meds! YAY! I just pray it works one of these 2 times!

Anyway I'm not going to ramble today... instead I will leave you with some pics from the weekend.
Curtis and his boys... he's such a proud daddy!
Me and Alex... poor baby didn't feel good!
My amazing family!!

Me and Clay
Me and my best friend, Amanda!

Another great friend!

Me and Harlee Danielle... such a sweet girl!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

7 years...

7 years ago today we said "Goodbye" to our beautiful angel, Jewel Avery. It was a very tragic accident, one I do not wish upon even my worst enemy. I miss her every day and even after 7 years, my heart still aches for her. Time has slowly healed the hole that was left in my heart when my beautiful cousin was taken too soon from this Earth, but she will NEVER be forgotten.

To this day, I've never met a happier baby and I only pray that, when my time comes, I am so lucky. Jewel was always such a happy, smiling baby... no one could ever forget that amazing little face. It didn't matter how awful my day was... seeing that face smiling up at me always made me forget about it. It didn't matter how sick she was or if she was hurt... you wouldn't know it.

I know that God is taking good care of her and she is in a wonderful place, but my heart still aches for my angel. Please send any extra prayers you have to the Harrison family today... my aunt and uncle are amazing people who did not deserve to have their precious baby taken from them, but somehow it was God's way. I don't understand it and I probably never will but I know He does.

I leave you today with this picture of our angel.... Please don't take life for granted, no matter how crappy it may be at the time.

Jewel Avery 7/2/01-9/10/02

Gone too soon but NEVER forgotten!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Not looking forward to this...

So... we were planning to go to AR in December when our lease is up here. FAIL. I found out today there isn't a school that my classes will transfer to up there and I won't be done with school until February. So then we thought we would just stay here on a month-to-month lease until I get out of school. DOUBLE FAIL. If we do that, they jack our rent up about $300 more than we are already paying... I don't think so.

The plan now? Curtis will go to AR in Dec. as planned when our lease is up. What about me? Well I get the joy of staying behind without my hubby for 2 months to finish school. I am going to stay with a friend while I finish school, then join him in Arkansas. I am so upset about having to do this... we have NEVER been apart for more than 1 night. I know it will work out and it is for the best but it is still tearing us both up. We will be able to visit each other when we have time between work and school but it will definitely suck to go to bed alone every night. Yes, I am whining but I think I'm allowed for now.

As for TTC, I have SUCKED at charting this cycle. I don't think I've temped in like a week... I did have some crazy EWCM a few days ago (which I've never had) and we took advantage of it with some Pre-Seed so maybe that will do the trick. I haven't really even thought about TTC with all this move stuff going on. I am upset because I know we are going to lose our insurance in a few months... I am a mess.

I know this will all work out for the best and we will be back on track eventually. I just keep praying... that's all I can do for now.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Tough decision to make...

After a long talk with Curtis tonight, we are really considering going back to Arkansas. We have many reasons for this decision but nothing is final yet and it is going to require a lot more thought and many more discussions.

Our biggest and most important factor is the kids. We have not seen the boys since Christmas (well, I haven't seen Alex since Thanksgiving) and it is KILLING us. We hate that we can't be with them more often and it's not fair to them at all.

We moved to Texas hoping for a fresh start and better oppurtunities and it just doesn't seem to be any different. I wasn't all that happy in Arkansas but I think the biggest thing was our financial situation. That has changed dramatically since we moved because we both made changes in our lives and the way we manage our money. The issue wasn't the location; it was us. We both have career oppurtunities now and if we go back, Curtis can finally reach his dream of being in law enforcement.... the job is basically being handed to him now as it is. I can get back into real estate up there, which is ultimately what I want to do. I think we moved here very hastily without considering a lot of options... I wanted to come "home" so that's what we did but it just has not been what I thought it would be at all.

Another big thing pulling us back are our friends. This may seem ridiculous to some since friends can be made anywhere but that hasn't been the case. In Arkansas, we have some of the best friends people could hope for... here we don't have that. We have people who are "friends" when they want something from us or when it's convenient for them... here we have aquaintences... not real friends. There we have friends who would do anything for us at any time and genuniely care and we would do the same for them.

The biggest drawback at this point is our insurance. Our insurance with Curtis' job is amazing and if we move, we will lose our insurance which means TTC goes on hold, yet again and I REALLY don't want to do that anymore. Hopefully I will get KU soon... lol.

We agreed when we made this move that if things didn't work out within a year, we would talk about going back... so that's what we are doing. We have a lot to think about and still many more discussions. Nothing has been decided yet and won't be for sometime still... we do know we aren't going anywhere until I get out of school in February. It will most likely be next summer before we do go, if we do.

I will keep you updated...