Really, Ute?!

So excuse my complete bitch/whine-fest.

This has been one of the worst cycles ever. We had that false positive on Father's Day then BFNs after that... Fast forward to today. CD55 and still no AF so I tested again... BFFN. And NO sign of AF... other than breaking out like a teenager, which is so not normal Pre-AF for me but then again what is normal for me? Honestly, I don't know how much more of this shit I can take. We have been trying for over 3 years now with 2 miscarriages and a whole shit-ton of BFNs...

Couple this with not being able to find a job and I feel like I have FAILURE tattooed across my forehead. I feel empty.

AND we found out this past weekend that in a couple weeks, the boys will be going back to live with their mother. Awesome. There isn't really anything we can do about it at this point... Yet another reason why I feel like a failure.

Ok I'm done... you were warned and if you made it all the way through that, thank you.