What a weekend!

This weekend has been insane and it's only Saturday night. We have had a lot of fun but everyone is worn out. Yesterday Curtis and I ran some errands and went birthday shopping for Clay (who turns 8 tomorrow) then we picked the boys up from their mom. From there, we went straight to the County Fair... 5 hours and a small fortune later, we were all faired out.

Today was Clay's birthday party so again, lots more running. He had a great party, got a lot of new toys and clothes (which he wasn't real thrilled about lol).

Curtis has to go back to work tomorrow and the kids go back to their moms, which means it's time for me to clean house and start packing. Big fun!

Here are a few pics from the weekend:

Clay at the fair

Alex at the fair

Clay riding a pony

Me and my Aunt Tiffany

Clay's birthday party

Well, that looks much better!

First, I owe a HUGE thank-you to the ladies who helped me with blog remodel. It looks so much better!! Maybe, just maybe, this revamp will help me be a better poster! Be sure to check out all the new features and grab my button!

So... here's what's new with us. I have been VERY busy with my new business (that's the way I like it!) and I still say I LOVE The Pampered Chef! I am gettings tons of free products and having a blast meeting new people. Tomorrow, I will be working a booth at the county fair so hopefully I can get some new contacts and fill in some more dates on my already full calendar!

We move into our new house on October 5th and I am sooo excited! If only I could find the time to pack between birthday parties, Cooking Shows, and a trip to Texas coming up. I should be fine though... after this week, I'll be packing during the week and working weekends.

Clay turns 8 on Sunday, which just seems insane to me. He was 3 when Curtis and I met and has grown so much. We are having his party on Saturday so that should be fun :)

Curtis is still enjoying his job, though he's exhausted! We are getting in a pretty good routine and things are going really well. The company even paid for us to have dinner at a Hibachi grill tonight! It was us, about 12 other roughnecks, 1 other woman and a baby... I'm glad I didn't have to pick up that tab! lol

Ok well it's bedtime! Early day tomorrow... sorry this was so long! Once I become a better blogger, I will have less to update at once! Much love!

Please excuse the mess...

My blog is under reconstruction, so please excuse the mess while I figure this stuff out!

An update, of sorts...

It's been a little while since my last post but I have had A LOT going on. Shortly after my last post, I was in an accident that totaled my car. I am/was ok - just pretty shaken up... it was 100% the other persons fault. He pulled out in front of me on the highway. He completely admitted fault, his insurance paid and I got a new car. A 2004 Toyota Sequoia and I LOVE it... it's awesome.

Curtis has also started his new job and seems to really be loving it but we will see how long that lasts once he starts working 12-20 hours days. We are currently out of town for some work training... the company is paying for me to take a vacation and for him to take classes necessary to his job. We are staying in a really nice hotel for the week and I am loving the peace and quiet.

The boys have gone back to live with their mother... unfortunately :(. We were trying to keep this from happening but there wasn't much we could do at the time so we just decided to go with it rather than making the kids miserable by fighting with their mom. So we are getting all our ducks in a row then we will get them back.

I am also feeling much better, so I'm guessing the meds are working. We are looking into moving into a bigger house in the next month or so... I'm very hopeful and ready to move. However, if we move now, we will continue to TTC on our own until after the first of the year, then I will go back to the RE. We just don't want to dive into too much at once.

I also recently became a Pampered Chef consultant and I am LOVING that... such awesome products and a great opportunity to meet new people. Well I guess that's all I've got this time... so until later, much love to all my readers!

Getting somewhere...

Wow it has been one hell of a week!

We finally decided it's time for me to get some help with this depression and anxiety I've been battling for the last few years. It was getting out of control. The symptoms first arose when my 14 month old cousin passed away... but I found other ways to deal. Then again when my Papaw died in 2005... I dealt with alcohol and WAY to much partying. The symptoms and overall worthless feelings have come and gone over the years but I've always been able to handle it on my own, one way or another. Then came moving, stress of not having a job, my stepsons unexpectedly moving in with us (not that I don't want them, because I do LOVE having them here), but I think the icing on the cake was losing our little one... that awful m/c in April. Since then, I've had my good days and my bad days but the bad FAR outweigh the good.

I started having more bad days and it was extremely hard for me to deal with it on my own. My husband, bless his heart, has tried everything in his arsenal to make me feel better but nothing seemed to be working and we were all very thankful for the few good days that came along. But, I was beginning to take out my agression on the children (never physically), and my husband, and everyone around us for that matter. I would just snap at every little thing and be pissed off for no reason or crying. Not cool... but I didn't know how to deal with it. I felt completely out of control of my own emotions.

So, I saw my awesome doctor on Wednesday and he was very understanding and willing to help. And scolded me for waiting so long to get help. We are trying Lexapro for the next 2 weeks to see how I do with it, then I go in for a follow-up. He also gave me a script for Xanax to help ease the anxiety.

2 days on the meds and I'm already starting to feel a little better. Overall today, I was in a pretty good mood but I also feel kinda blah so we will see how the next couple weeks go. I was scared to admit I needed help and my pride wouldn't let me ask for it, until I saw what it was doing to my most intimate relationships... I couldn't let that happen.

On a positive note, Curtis was offered a job today with an awesome company, pending a drug test, physical, and background check. He should start August 2nd... the company offers Day 1 benefits, which means I will finally be able to go back to the RE and get this ball rolling... again.

Sorry this turned out so long and thanks for reading!

Really, Ute?!

So excuse my complete bitch/whine-fest.

This has been one of the worst cycles ever. We had that false positive on Father's Day then BFNs after that... Fast forward to today. CD55 and still no AF so I tested again... BFFN. And NO sign of AF... other than breaking out like a teenager, which is so not normal Pre-AF for me but then again what is normal for me? Honestly, I don't know how much more of this shit I can take. We have been trying for over 3 years now with 2 miscarriages and a whole shit-ton of BFNs...

Couple this with not being able to find a job and I feel like I have FAILURE tattooed across my forehead. I feel empty.

AND we found out this past weekend that in a couple weeks, the boys will be going back to live with their mother. Awesome. There isn't really anything we can do about it at this point... Yet another reason why I feel like a failure.

Ok I'm done... you were warned and if you made it all the way through that, thank you.

We need more space!!

Once upon a time, there were only 2 Poulnotts living under one roof and we didn't need much space. Now there are 4. We NEED more space... this house is just not cutting it for the 4 (and someday 5) of us. So we have been on a mission. And it looks like we will be getting our bigger house soon... It's a 3 bedroom, 1 bath (my biggest problem with it) house with a shop AND shed. So, we should know more by the end of the week on our moving status.

I was introduced to this AMAZING craft blog (www.makeit-loveit.com) and now have a huge crafting itch. I have a few projects in mind, thanks to this awesome site with very easy to follow tutorials :)

I don't have much else to update these days... AF still hasn't shown so IDK what's going on there. Until next time...